It's electric! (Nope, not the popular dance!)

Hello, my name is Melissa and I have a strong personality.

There, I said it....love me or leave me, it’s who I am.  Lots choose “leave me” – it’s easier there. 

I don’t give up, I don’t walk away, I fight for what I believe in and that can be a lot to take.  I’ve put blood, sweat, and tears into becoming a strong, confident woman & educator and won’t apologize about who I am (insert pity for my parents, kids, hubs, and colleagues here!).   

I have incredibly strong feelings about test prep.

I have incredibly strong feelings about homework and packets.

I have incredibly strong feelings about superficial learning.

I have incredibly strong feelings about every classroom looking the same way.

I have incredibly strong feelings about high stakes testing and truthfully most tests. 

I have incredibly strong feelings about being encouraged to use a script to teach from. 

Although there weren't many, I did have some incredible teachers who took the role of lead learner and provided remarkable, thought provoking, challenging classes – unfortunately it was at the college level.  Most of my elementary and high school years consisted of worksheets, rote learning, spit it out on a test; I remember most teachers’ names or a humiliating experience I had in their room, but that’s about all.  I won’t be that teacher.   

Since we, in New York, are now being encouraged to use state provided scripts (teacher says this, students do this) to teach from I feel like we’re in a bigger battle that we ever imagined and it terrifies me that many will sit back and accept it. Recently, I sat through hours of a PD meeting being talked at about how wonderful these things were, being shown videos of “exemplar teachers” teaching, etc.  I was floored how basic these ideas were, but even more how “rote” the lessons and videos were.  There wasn’t much innovation, nothing that I haven’t seen somewhere in my building or district.  But we have minimized education to watching videos and being handed scripts from state ed (did I mention the ELA are written by a “for profit”, education reform company?) and being coerced to believe that our kids are failing miserably because of scores on tests. 

We have minimized and demoralized public education and the knight in shining armor has become rote scripts, test prep, and scores.  If I may.....we are entering dangerous territory.

Administrators worry about how their building may look or are quick to compare building scores and put on bravado, the childish armor of confidence, when comparing their test scores to others rather than discussing and sharing how well their kids can solve problems, find solutions, or come up with their own intriguing questions.  Better yet, they could encourage conversation and provide time for professional sharing in classrooms. This “my scores are better than your scores” mentality serves only to compare, divide, and fragment our children’s education.  When scores are so heavily leaned upon they pit colleague against colleague; sharing and valuing ideas is diminished, and safety within collegial teams is destroyed.  After reading some work of Michael Fullan, I was struck by his quote, “The four ‘wrong’ drivers (a policy and related strategies) are compelling on the surface, and have a lot of face-value appeal for people with urgent problems. They will be hard to dislodge. The politics will be fierce because leaders want immediate results, and are susceptible to what look like plausible solutions but turn out to be silver bullets.”

When encouraging test prep and sameness, students lose out on an intrinsically motivating education, a place that encourages life learning, in and out of the classroom.  I have yet to meet a child who wakes up each morning excited to go to a classroom where it is scripted, test prep focused, and a superficial learning experience.  I was blown away a few weeks ago on the soccer field when a mom approached me and we continued what seems to be our weekly education talk.  She told me how things have changed so drastically with her kids in 5^th and 2^nd grade – they used to leap out of bed to get ready for school and bound off the bus at the end of the day to tell her of their packed, exciting days.  Now, they won’t get up in the morning and cry when they do, they beg her not to “force them” to go to school, and plead for her to home school them.....because school “used to be fun” and they hate being there now.  After school they’re packed down with hours of required rote reading, responding, and completing worksheets instead of being encouraged to create, build, explore, find out, and ask; in my opinion, all for the sake of a score.  My heart broke; it completely shattered to know that at 7 and 10 these kids think so little of themselves or of learning.  Kids who used to be so excited about school that they didn’t want to have weekends so they could learn more, kids who couldn’t wait to get back into the classroom to see what was next, now are begging their parents to keep them away from it.

Again, Michael Fullan addresses successful schools:  "Thus intrinsic motivation, instructional improvement, teamwork, and ‘allness’ are the crucial elements for whole system reform. Many systems not only fail to feature these components but choose drivers that actually make matters worse.”

I will be the first to admit, I’m incredibly lucky to have the building administrator I have.  Believe me, it makes a huge difference to have the kind of support that I have.  I can whole heartedly tell you though, that when we no longer have him I still will be who I am.  I won’t change who I am for the wishes of those I work for if they’re unfounded or not based on reliable research – and yes, I will risk having a massive file of insubordination letters or disciplinary action, but I won’t sacrifice a child’s education or belief in themselves as a successful learner.  I am also incredibly blessed to have teammates that I trust completely; we are able to safely encourage each other to do what we know is best, share ideas and projects, support each other’s ideas and insights – they are invaluable to who I am as an educator.

As we worked on Friday on a student inspired unit on owls, grown from Poppy our current read aloud, the kids shared found information with each other.  While staying in given parameters, they were to come up with their own focus of study, some incredibly intriguing, ones that I couldn't have dreamed they’d come up with, let alone tackle; comparing size, location, and habitats of owls across the world, determine various speeds of flight and diving capabilities, in depth study of one specific owl, and anatomy of owls. (yep, I'm proud to say they're 8!)  I haven’t given a worksheet or a pre-printed anything – simply a pile of books, parameters they will have to work within, and a whole bunch of encouragement and excitement for learning.  The atmosphere has been electric and exciting.  They have “boo-ed” me when it has been time to go to recess and have come running around the corner at me in the morning to show me the map they printed or facts they learned at home – which weren't required.   I am teaching within the standards, but not within a bubble.  Will they “ace” the state assessments?  Maybe, maybe not.  But I won’t sacrifice the love and excitement of learning that happens every day in my room for a score earned over a few days.

As one student cleaned up on Friday, she turned, looked up at me with her big, beautiful eyes and said, “Learning is magical!”

 

“Choosing the wrong drivers for whole system reform”  Michael Fullan  2011 Centre for Strategic Education Seminar Series Paper No. 204, May 2011

The power of one...

I’ll admit I was pretty bummed that Malala Yousafzai was not chosen in winning the Nobel Peace Prize. I think we missed a huge opportunity to teach young people the power of one – the power of one young woman standing up and fighting for others' educations.  She’s not a corporation, she’s not in it for the fame, and she’s certainly not in it for the money....just one young woman out to save as many as she can.  I wanted Malala Yousafazai to win for my son, and for my daughters, and for the over 300 kids who have been part of my classroom family and will always be part of my life.

But something happened last night that made me turn Malala’s mission around for some self-reflection in my own classroom.  The district that Dear Hubby and I work for played our high school Alma Mater in a Friday night “under the lights” game lastnight – purple and gold runs deep in our families – my mom and dad, sister and brother, and Dear Hubs wore multiple Varsity letters (I know you’re shocked I’m not in that list!) and lined the field clad in purple and gold.  For years the hubs would go to high school games, sometimes with old teammates & lifelong friends, and each time I’d ask, “Did you talk to Coach B?  It would mean a lot to him if you’d talk to him and maybe let him know what he meant to you.”  Answer has always been “No” or “He’s too busy for me”, “too focused on the game” or other more technical “football-ese” that I completely don’t understand (and he proudly takes advantage of!).  You see, the coach/teacher that Hubs played all four years for is still producing winning seasons at dear old THS.   After begging and badgering for years I gave up.

Last night, was different.  Bea raced into my room while Hubs was still unpacking the truck and said, “Mom, Dad went to the fence and waited for him!  He finally talked to Coach!”   Hubs came in shortly after and said, “Did Bea tell you I saw Jack?”  (me:  nodded, grinned)  “His kids are good you know.  They’re grown and ....” and proceeded to tell me every detail about the conversation including the things that he “can’t believe he remembered”.  This coach was a favorite teacher at our inner city high school; it was hard to get into his classes and I’m proud to tell you that it was t-h-e  o-n-l-y  A  I ever earned in high school and it was NOT due to my athletic prowess!  ((insert roaring giggle))  Coach B, one of Hubs’ two favorites, didn’t have to talk to him, didn’t have to make time to catch up, didn’t have to make time to talk to our daughter and ask questions, but he did – he was the one.   The thing that makes this more special is that football and these coaches were Hubs’ lighthouse in a pretty rough teenaged life.  There were so many things the coaches didn’t know he was going through.  He always brought his A game, but in turn the support they gave him got him through those tough struggles they had no clue about - he couldn’t afford a coveted gold banded, purple Varsity jacket to put his hard-earned Varsity letters on and although he was desperate to make his coaches proud and accept that football scholarship to Rutgers he was devastated that he couldn’t for reasons that were out of his control.  He went on to face adversity and I often wonder how many of their life lessons he continued to carry to get him through losing his dad unexpectedly, in his arms, at 23 and his mom not long ago, that proving himself his whole life has been a battle that he has proudly taken on; mindful of each struggling step.  And in one turn, one conversation, Coach B has no idea the impact that he once again made on my dear Hubs’ life – because he was the one, the one who was there then and the one who was here now.  He took just a few moments.  He retaught and rehashed and reaffirmed every life lesson he taught my guy some (gulp) thirty years ago.  And he doesn’t even know the power his words and his integrity have.

As I crawled into bed, Hubs fast asleep with what seemed a small smile on his face, I wondered if I have made that kind of difference to the kids who have crossed my path.  Do “my” kids get together with old classmates and tell stories and share memories about my classroom?  Does that child who has moved on know that I’d do anything for them?  Did I teach each day with such integrity and strength that my kids KNOW that I will always have time, that they will always matter?  Does each of my kids know with their entire being that their self-esteem, self-worth, their view of themselves as learners is WAY more important to me than a test score? 

I truly believe we’re about to make a huge mis-step.  I truly believe that we need to take back control of what we know is best for kids and best for their learning.  That it’s about WAY more than an effectiveness rating.  That it’s about WAY more than how the education department and media portray me in the news.  That it’s about intrinsic, real world lessons and not about modules made by an education reform corporation.  That it’s about me getting down and dirty to make a difference for one child in my room.  That it’s about me making a difference on the day that a child is at their worst.  That it’s about me standing up for what’s right for my kids & classroom when others just want me to sit down and be quiet. 

As Malala Yousafazai said, "I speak not for myself but for those without voice ...”  Thanks Malala, I’m going to be that one and thank you for being that strong, young woman to stand up and show the world strength & power & courage and the difference one can make.

And thanks Coach B, from all who have crossed your path (and for my only A!), but especially for what you've done for my guy....you’ll just never know your power of one.

Name that tune!

I’ve never really been an “in the box” kind of girl.  The thought of going off somewhere on my own is exciting, taking down a wall on my own to “surprise” the hubs is exhilarating (well, for me anyway!), tearing into yards of fabric to reupholster a chair for the first time is thrilling...you get the idea.  I guess I didn’t realize it or become okay with who I was until mid-thirties, but I have come to embrace who I am.  Different?  Yup.  Odd?  At times. March to (not just my own tune!) my own darn band?  Absolutely ... thank you very much!

While avoiding those obnoxious household demands meandering around the house this weekend I was thinking about my own learning history.  I distinctly remember getting in trouble in elementary school for “tapping” during Math – it was the best way I knew how to make sense of numbers.  There was another time when my teacher was FURIOUS that I was doing “some nonsense with numbers” and not doing “what I was told to do” on my paper – again with math.  Apparently I wasn’t thought of as a “numbers girl” and yet, thirty some years later what I did is now coined and widely encouraged as Touch Math and Base Ten or friendly numbers.  When, in middle school, we had to memorize the Preamble I decided to make up a tune to sing it to (and yes, I can still sing it today!).  But that wasn’t acceptable to that teacher and although I don’t remember my grade, I assure you it was a traumatic experience.  Musical ingenuity wasn’t valued over pure, rote memorization.  It struck me out of nowhere how inflexible my teachers were in finding out why I was doing things – all they knew is that it just “wasn’t THE right way”.  I wasn’t trying to push anyone’s button or be defiant (that came years later!!!!  ;-) I was simply doing what I had to do to learn what I was being asked to learn – it worked for me and made perfect sense to me, but that wasn’t considered, nor was it acceptable. 

As I shared my story of “tens” the other day, I showed the kids what I used to do when I added anything to a nine – if it was 9 + 7 I’d take a one from the 7 and “give it” to the 9 making the 9 into a 10, then I’d simply add the 6 remaining.  One of my kids literally jumped up from the rug and yelled “Oh my God, I D-O that!!!” – quickly mortified that he, a VERY quiet boy, had spoken out he slunk back on to the rug.  I praised him for speaking up and talking about his learning because it would help others see that there really are many more ways than one to do things.  He cautiously looked up at me and said, “But why did you get in trouble?  I just don’t get that.”  How do you explain to this 8 year old, with big doe eyes looking up at you with genuine concern & questioning, that you just don’t “get it” either?  Many days I’d like to pour a steamy cup of coffee, pull up a few cozy chairs, and talk with those teachers – for my own understanding and to become better in who I am for each little life I touch every day. Years of being told I was “wrong” sure took a toll on me.

I guess what strikes me even more is that in a way, so many things are the same in elementary schools some thirty years later – some classrooms continue to seem archaic, lines are really blurry between the two.  As the saying goes, “Would you want a doctor who still practiced the way she/he did thirty years ago?”  How often do we try to get into kids’ heads or do we just stay safely in our own?  How willing are we to listen to how kids learn and decipher information or is it easier to listen to the way we’ve always done it?  How “okay” are we with valuing kids working at their own ability level, producing in a variety of ways within given learning outcomes or are we only okay for them to produce the exactness of what we want?  Would noise and movement from kids constitute engagement & deeper understanding or would you rather encourage solitary learning forsaking depth?

Yes, my kids are 8, but already at week 3 they understand the value of learning with others, that there are many ways of learning, and that everyone has something of value to offer.  We began the year with the kids making up “essentials” for our room (not traditionally posted, teacher imposed rules) to function as a successful team, we are working to embrace the Swahili philosophy of Ubuntu (focusing on the importance of community, friendship, achieving together, sharing & that each of our actions affects the rest of the team), and I’ve worked to set up a safe learning space for every one of my learners.  It has taken time to teach my kids to rely on their own, as well as others’, understanding and abilities – we’ve become such a solitary society, but kids are resilient and have the power to make change.  They are working to share information, gain new ideas, and seeking more challenging ways to solve problems.  Yes, I do teach within the Common Core, regardless of my feelings for it, but I do it in a way that I know is developmentally appropriate and appropriately challenging for 8 year olds.  I do it in a way that allows kids to become intrinsically motivated to learn; usually gaining more understanding than I ever expected.  In third grade, we study communities of the world.  Why have every student study the same country?  If we need to find out geographical location, various features of a country, and cultural differences, why does every child need to get that information from the same country?  Is it wrong that we, as a learning community, learn so much more about many different countries and then share that information to help others gain understanding?  That is learning. 

Is there one thing you might change to make learning different?  Is there a topic you’re studying that you might change the learning outcome or even allow student voice in that outcome?  Is there something you can differentiate so each learner is appropriately challenged at their level – maybe reading?  Possibly Math?

So, many states have signed on to the Common Core which is now being pushed hand in hand with high stakes testing.  Unfortunately, I see more and more people equating learning to prepping students for a test & achievement number rather than prepping them for navigating challenges that they will face as learners. 

As I think back to my own school career, I just don’t see many things that are different now than they were then.  In a time when we have the power to have a voice and make changes for our kids, it doesn’t seem that many people are willing to take that risk.  It WILL impact kids if we continue to teach in the same ways we were taught and they learn in the same ways we learned.

I’ve got a new tune stuck in my head ...... anyone interested???

please take a number......

For two weeks I’ve been watching my kids, waiting for the day when I see that glimmer that I can grab onto and run with.  Run to begin inquiry based learning.  So, I wait.  Please take a number. . . . 

After talking with a special area colleague about my observations and curiosities, which she is sharing as well, I’ve begun to consider things more closely.  In the past few years I’ve noticed changes in kids.  One thing I’ve seen is what appears to be a significant challenge in not only working with others toward a common goal/interest, but in being able to cooperatively produce a learning outcome.  Mrs. S. and I debated the causes; society has changed, community sports are more often encouraging elite performance, cuts in school-wide programs and health classes have minimized practice in collaborative teamwork.  I’m not so sure it’s any of those, but what if, instead, it’s right before our own eyes?  What if it’s education itself?  What if the cause is right in our own classrooms?

My nine year old niece has asked many times what she needs to do to move into my classroom because she’s going to lose her mind with the worksheets they have to do (ie: test prep).  Lola is one smart cookie and casually mentioned over the summer “I hate school and I hate to read”   W-H-O-A. . . . Houston?   This kid has always LOVED school, is incredibly bright, and now the sudden shift?                                                On our first PD day back, a colleague told me that her daughter spent weeks last year being “prepped”.  She felt that it may have produced better numbers, but lost her daughter significant “real” learning time, caused incredible stress for her and their family, increased illness, & sleepless nights for her child; none of which were worth the price said eight year old paid. 

I know I’m “odd man out” and the things I do in my classroom raise eyebrows, but as I’ve said before I’m NOT a test prep girl and no matter what the pressure or the potential cost it has on my career, I won’t do it.  I have heard of a huge increase in teachers spending weeks (and in some cases, the year!) on test prep, although they likely don’t realize how much they do.  What if teachers, subconsciously, are fostering and possibly encouraging the mindset of independent, scores driven, superficial learning? 

The other day I asked my kids to look at our tub (yes, THE bathtub that has a prominent place in our class Living Room!) and asked what they wondered.  <<insert cricket chirping>>  They s-a-t there.  You know that “dead” wait time?  Eternity?  After about 5 minutes one of the kids finally broke out with, “I wonder if Dr. D knows that’s in here?”  (Great job kiddo – make this about me!).  Thankfully, that question was the platform that others needed, although guardedly, to begin to wonder, but in the way they thought was “right”:  How heavy it is?  When did it get in here?  Did it fit through the door?   And finally, slowly, they moved toward “bigger” questions:  How big was the factory it was made in?  Was it made in this country? What kinds of tools did they use to make it? What type of metal was used to make it?

After cancelling out the dead noise of uncertainty with such great questions, I gave them a new task.  In a learning journal I showed them how they could draw a bag, rather large, in the center of a blank page.  I then placed a paper bag that was clipped shut in front of 7 different learning teams and asked them to record everything they wondered about it.  I didn’t keep track so I can’t tell you how long it took them to come up with something – wiggling, looking, searching.  Watching each face I could tell this was painful.  They wanted an answer, wanted me to tell them what to do, afraid of a blank journal page.  They - just - wanted – me – to – give – them – a - paper to fill in the right answer.  When I heard some questions from a few teams I stopped everyone, asked them to share “sample questions” from their teams, and returned them to their task.......and then, new questions began;  Can I write it here?  Does my answer have to go in a certain place?  Where do you want me to put it?  How should I write this?   I came to a sad realization:  these kids truly have lost the art of wonder, the art of questioning and discovering, the art of safely taking a risk of new thinking, the art of learning  independently.  An even bigger realization for me?  The fear of not gaining an “effective score” or the fear of not having a clear majority of class proficiency on a high stakes test may be to blame. 

In an article published by Alfie Kohn, he gives 8 facts about “Standardized Tests and Its Victims” (well THAT’S a hard title to swallow!!!).  It amazes me that this article was published thirteen years ago and yet the fight is a much larger battle now and it’s obvious that not many listened to him.  I’m not sure which one of his facts that I love most, but #4 is incredibly thought provoking:

“Fact 4. Standardized-test scores often measure superficial thinking. In a study published in the Journal of Educational Psychology, elementary school students were classified as "actively" engaged in learning if they asked questions of themselves while they read and tried to connect what they were doing to past learning; and as "superficially" engaged if they just copied down answers, guessed a lot, and skipped the hard parts. It turned out that high scores on both the CTBS and the MAT were more likely to be found among students who exhibited the superficial approach to learning. …. But, as a rule, it appears that standardized-test results are positively correlated with a shallow approach to learning.” Kohn, Education Week Sept. 27,2000

Kohn goes on to say that he knows he’ll be challenged on his research by defenders of high stakes standardized tests and adds five more points, including this one:

Far from improving education, high-stakes testing marks a major retreat from fairness, from accuracy, from quality, and from equity." Here's why.    “*…Standardized tests tend to measure the temporary acquisition of facts and skills, including the skill of test-taking itself, more than genuine understanding”.  Kohn, Education Week Sept. 27,2000 

This reaffirmed my core beliefs of leading with inquiry, discovery, and reigniting that fire of intrinsic motivation to learn.  There’s NO WAY I can motivate ANY child to learn through test prep.  To acknowledge and affirm every child’s natural ability to learn I HAVE TO use active, student centered learning.  Yes, I’m still addressing the standards and am assessing along the way, but I’m doing it with the role of “lead learner”.  It’s a different role, it was uncomfortable at first, but I am RARELY at the center of the stage.  As one of my kids put it the other day, “So, you’re telling us you’re just like a chaperone along for the ride?”  Yes, my lil dear, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.

Imagine if we all held tight to the Kohn philosophy. 

Imagine if more people pushed back and teachers refused to “test prep”, but instead did “lifelong learning prep”.

Imagine if more parents pushed back and demanded an end to this nonsense and opted out, refusing to allow their children to be abused through these high stakes standardized tests.

Imagine...

Please excuse me, I think my kids are about to call my number . . .

 http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/edweek/staiv.htm  . . . . you’re welcome!

s - - l - - o - - w

Have you slowed down yet?  No, really, how slow are you going? 

We just completed day 6 and there is cracking and breaking in the masks – the masks of self-protection and self-preservation, the masks of hesitation and wariness of 7 & 8 year olds who are terrified of third grade.  I’m starting to see things happening......not related to work, not to test prep, not to scores.  The kids are beginning to trust and put themselves out there, they’re beginning to take risks and to offer ideas, they're making decisions and giving direction. I must move carefully.

I’m keeping myself in the slow lane, bright orange triangle firmly attached, flashers blinking wildly – I am not keeping it a secret that I have yet to touch serious academics. I have to start slow now.  No worries, I’ll catch up and gain speed later.

My week has been full of starting off slowly, working on building a team and building trust.  The kids have worked together to come up with, refine, and define our “essentials”, not teacher imposed rules, but rather things we expect each other to live by in order to create & maintain our community of learning.  We have worked on routines and relying on self & one another, on pride in personal best. And we have worked together to be responsible for keeping our learning space pretty darned spectacular (Do you have ANY idea how much kids love carpet sweepers?!?!  Best purchase E-V-E-R!!).   

Each day we have spent a huge chunk of time on “team challenges”, with the sole purpose of building trust, teamwork, respect, and student choice & voice – there’s more in store for next week too!  In any situation where you have to rely on others & take risks you need to have the foundation of trust and the same is true for kids.  As high stakes testing and teacher evaluation gain momentum and the pressures mount on us daily, it’s pretty easy to lose sight of that.  But without a firm foundation of trust, learning, understanding, active engagement, and intrinsic motivation will be challenging to any child.  It’s “only” day 6......there are 176 more where those came from and in order for those days ahead to be incredibly successful I have to take it slow now.

Some of my favorite memories of professional development are the times when great friends & colleagues and I would pack up and trek off to New Hampshire for SDE conferences.  For years the motto of founder Jim Grant has been “Childhood should be a journey, not a race”.  I’m teaching more like that now than ever before. 

I’ll see you along the journey.  

And for now, I’ll be the one with my flashers on.

I did it....okay, I did it again....

I did it.  Okay, wait.....I did it – AGAIN.  I stood up, I spoke out.....happily dragged in by two amazing teachers.

I first helped an awesome friend bring her vision to life to create a video promoting the March on Albany back in June.  It was a state wide, NYSUT led initiative to rally for public education and against high stakes testing.  It was so darn cool!  Neither of us will profess to be Carly Rae Jepsen, but her popular tune sure was a catchy way for Awesome Colleague to express her thoughts about the nonsense and government corruption in education.  It was tremendously empowering and was the first time during this whole mess that I’ve felt I had a voice – hers was much larger in this project, and it was inspiring.  The best part of this rally was that only 10,000 teachers, students, and families were expected, but it was estimated that about 20,000 showed up!  We were honored, and humbled that we were asked by NYSUT to allow them to show the video during the rally.  Here’s the link, but I warn you, I no longer sing Jepsen’s lyrics the way she wrote them!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6Z486Cv7Nw  

Came down from "Never Land" two weeks ago and when I got cell service (yes, I’m serious, there are still places in North America where there is no coverage) my phone was exploding about a new opportunity to speak out....and yes, I took it.  Last week I did an interview, with a super colleague from a neighboring district, at a local NBC television station about high stakes testing.  The intention was to talk about the impact on teachers and teaching.  We talked about the lowest morale I’ve seen in 17 years, the fact that phenomenal teachers are seriously looking into other career options, many who, out of fear of a low HEDI score, are turning to packets, workbooks, and constant test prep for the sake of a high score, and the fact that the atmosphere is incredibly morbid leading up to and especially during the assessments.  We also talked about how little there is to gain, educationally (of course there’s plenty of scandal to gain!), from the test score that is just that, a number, with NO OPPORTUNITY for diagnostic information from them nor item analysis since the tests are never seen again, we are forbidden (by the state) to talk about or share information about them, and there is never a chance to have a clear explanation of how the scores were arrived at.  But, our largest portion of the interview was about the kids......

Ah, the kids...we quickly turned the conversation to them, after all they're the reason we’re here.  Interviewer asked us about how these tests impact our relationships with the kids...this hit a nerve, so I unloaded.  Strong relationships are built on trust...trust that my kids can take a risk and know that they are safe to make a mistake because that is an opportunity to learn, trust that no matter the depth or complexity of a learning path they take that I will be there to swoop down and help them to develop strategies to recover and move forward, trust that there is NO dumb question and we can always find an answer, trust that I am on their team and their side NO MATTER WHAT, trust that they can take a chance and believe that they won’t fail because everything they do is another opportunity to learn.  

As a professor once told me, “Trust is like a house of cards.  It takes patience, hard work, and perseverance to build, but it can be easily destroyed, in a short time, if not cared for”.  I spent hours, days, WEEKS building trust with my kids and with one felled swoop, the assessments shattered that house of cards that took weeks more to try to rebuild.  When interviewer looked at me curiously I told her to imagine being just 8 and telling your teacher that for every question that had four answers you KNEW three were wrong, you were likely to choose one of those, and you couldn't get any help for success – yep, direct quote from one of my kiddos.  In that moment, I let him down because I felt I was bound and gagged against my best judgment.   Imagine being 8, under immense pressure, struggling to make sense of something that is developmentally inappropriate and that same person who promised that you could trust her can no longer help, can no longer give you strategies, can no longer encourage you to look at a certain thing a bit more closely, can no longer promise you that you won't fail.  It’s gone.  I let them down, the trust was shattered....and I had no choice.  

When do we put our foot down and decide that we will NOT do test prep, but will instead do “life prep” and provide rigor every day?  When do we decide that WE are the trained professionals who know what’s best for kids?  When do we stand up against government that is trying to convince the public that all schools are failing?

When do we, teachers AND parents, stand up?  When do we, teachers AND parents, question and push back at the state level?   When do we begin to demand answers about these tests? 

And when......do we decide that enough is enough and realize that what we do every day, day in and day out, each hour, each minute, impacts young lives and self-confidence – FOREVER.

When?

A road less traveled...

What inspires you?  Drives you?  What’s that something that you just can’t get enough of?  And my favorite three letter question...why?  

I L O V E to create......there’s nothing like a hammer and nails, loads of fabric and a well-oiled sewing machine, ripping a chair apart just for the fun of recreating it with new life, tearing down a wall because I think it will look better without it (too many school vacation “surprises” has resulted in dear hubby hiding his power tools on me!).  For my sister it’s shopping, for my brother it’s biking (yes, I absolutely and proudly am the rebel rouser in the family!).  Mazie Doo has recently been on a “rope kick” – ties it to her pedal cart to see what will hold & drag her big sister (sister hasn’t been terribly cooperative!), has been tying it to her swing set to learn to walk a tight rope (thank you Judy Moody), and is now obsessed with learning to water ski – using “just the right rope” and is having a blast even though we have yet to make it around the lake.   I know rope freaks people out and has caused many looks and comments, so what?  She’s safe and she’s motivated all by herself to figure this out and best of all?  She’s learning.....shhhhhh!  Don’t tell her!  THAT my friend is intrinsic motivation!!!

We get to choose what we love, to give however much effort we’d like on things we love, things we need to know more about, things that get a fire lit in us.  What about the kids we teach?  At what point in their learning do THEY get to find that thing that lights them up?  Not something WE think will do start the spark, but something they get psyched about? 

I’m always intrigued in talking with Dear Boy about his experiences in school – there aren’t many at all that were positive.  Forgive my bragging, but this kid is pretty dang smart...for “fun” he used to try to stump his grandfather with facts of history of our country (inducing nausea from the rest of the family!).  Always intrigued by family history & trivia, he couldn’t get enough.  Except.....well....there’s his transcripts, yep, that number thing again, something that a person is judged by with no knowledge of background or opportunity, looked like this poor baby didn’t have a brain in his head which couldn’t be farther from the truth.   Interestingly enough when I would ask him why school was such an issue he generally said, “When they give us something to do that is actually relative or decide to trust us to make our own choices I’d ace them.”  Have to say, I believe him completely – he has NEVER been inspired enough or motivated enough to intrinsically value or get excited about the “required topic” even though he loves learning and loves information.

Last year I began my journey toward inquiry based learning.  I L O V E change (hmm, wonder if there’s a connection with those missing walls!) and was hesitantly intrigued with the process of inquiry.  I had done some PD, discussed it with my cousin who is a retired Super from a large neighboring district, and done tons and tons of research.  This was something I knew I could love – the art of questions, wonders, discovering answers, and most importantly intrinsic motivation.  Full disclosure?  I have an awesome principal who is incredibly supportive and is always pushing us to question ourselves and what we do & has been unbelievably supportive in trying new, educationally sound things – we are exceedingly lucky. But truthfully, I couldn’t stay somewhere or work with someone who wouldn’t be supportive of my pushing the envelope, digging and trying new things (remember you’re reading from someone who has a bathtub in her classroom!!!)

My biggest hurdle in starting was that kids in general are losing their sense of wonder and discovery – this presented my first challenge, they truly seemed fearful of wondering!  I was A M A Z E D how bewildering hard it was for kids to question and wonder.  It’s not clear to me if it’s that life is so busy it’s just easier to hand over an answer, if there’s too much “danger” in discovery, or if television and the digitized world don’t leave opportunity to question & dig for the answer. 

It really was a new world for me too – a world where I gave up being the “lead teller” and became a lead learner and supporter, patience sure was a MAJOR virtue when I started, and I had to learn to be okay with busy-ness with discovery & outcome projects that I didn’t design.  Yes, it was more work for me to provide feedback on daily learning that wasn’t “canned”, but I CANNOT tell you the rewards that the kids reaped (okay, selfishly there were SO many that I didn’t just reap, but rolled in them!) 

On the first day, last year, I provided a treasure map for the kids to get supplies organized.  I explained that this was like a bird learning to fly and I would be there to catch them, but it was really up to them to work together and figure out how to get through this map.  I promised that I’d swoop in if they needed me, but otherwise I’d be nearby just watching – this was SOOO informative and so much fun to watch them (needless to say, on the last day of school, we were howling about this stumble!!).   We certainly had our growing pains, but I pressed on. 

By December, the kids knew there was not only safety in questioning, but there was a TON of satisfaction in finding the answer that would likely drive them to new questions.  We study countries in third grade and although my teammates and I came up with a general framework of mandatory study topics for each location, I began to move away from that – my focus was more on allowing student questioning & ownership within the parameters of Social Studies and ELA standards (one of the kids even added some Math standards by calculating how many miles it is and how many days it would take to DRIVE from New York to a butterfly cave in Mexico!!!!).  My kids who struggled most with focus and accomplishment suddenly had their faces glued to research books on native animals & insects of Mexico while others did some impressive research on the Mayan ruins.  I watched as issues with behavior dissolved, more kids kept themselves on task, and books were FLYING off the shelves.  Kids who needed support finding answers asked me or a teammate for help, those who struggled to read or write sought out someone who could help, and best of all kids were helping each other to learn more – intrinsic motivation to know, to learn, to question, and to understand.   There were bodies everywhere, I mean ALL over my room and we got some of those stares and comments, but every child was motivated to learn and to understand simply with a little guidance, a small nudge.   Every child knew what they were doing and why and were more than eager to share with any willing (or not so willing!) participant who walked by or came in to our room.  It was magical.

Many ask, “What happens with next year’s teacher?”  I can’t worry about next year.  I needed to take my place as lead learner, not as lead teller, for this year.  My job was to provide the best learning environment with as much rigor as possible for this year.  My goal was to get kids excited about learning and keep building on the value they placed on themselves as learners.  I needed to guide them, lead them, and let them soar as learners.   Needless to say I was a mess sad on the last day of school.  A mama couldn’t have been prouder of those kiddos – they not only took off, they flew ... and they flew fulfilled knowing what incredibly brilliant learners they were.

So, I’m gearing up for another year.  Another year that will start with growing pains.  A year where I’ll have to grab hold and help them get off the ground.  A year where kids will learn and grow and flourish and be intrinsically motivated to learn ...... and yes, that may even mean with a piece of rope.